A new parenting suggestion has ignited a fierce online debate, leaving many moms and dads both intrigued and bewildered. The idea comes from Australian sexuality educator Deanne Carson, who proposes that parents ask for their baby’s consent before changing a diaper. While it may sound unusual, Carson clarifies that the goal isn’t to get a verbal “yes” from an infant. Instead, she advocates for a practice rooted in building a “culture of consent” from the very beginning of life.
Carson explains that the method involves narrating your actions to the baby. A parent might say, “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?” and then pause to observe the child’s body language. The core idea is to treat the child with respect and acknowledge their bodily autonomy, thereby laying a foundation for understanding consent as they grow older. Supporters of the concept see it as a natural extension of responsive parenting, where paying close attention to a child’s coos, movements, and eye contact is key to healthy communication.
However, the proposal has been met with significant criticism and even mockery online. Many critics have labeled the idea as impractical and disconnected from the realities of parenting. One social media user pointedly asked if the same logic should apply to getting “consent from your cat to change its litter tray.” Others argued that a baby crying from the discomfort of a full diaper is signal enough, calling it a “demand” for a change, not a situation requiring permission.
'Sexuality expert' says parents should ask for baby's consent when changing nappies.
Yes, really… pic.twitter.com/iR6wUfP87i
— Sunrise (@sunriseon7) May 10, 2018
Prominent parenting expert John Rosemond was particularly scathing, calling the concept “the Most Bizarre Idea of All Time” and suggesting that in the past, such a proposal would have been universally seen as irrational. Despite the backlash, some have come to Carson’s defense, acknowledging that while the diaper example may be extreme, the underlying intention—to foster a home environment of mutual respect from an early age—is a positive one. They see no harm in speaking respectfully to infants.
Ultimately, the debate highlights the wide spectrum of modern parenting philosophies. While not every parent will feel the need to formally ask for diaper-changing consent, the conversation has sparked a broader discussion about how we respect our children’s personhood from their earliest days. Whether you see it as a progressive step or an unnecessary complication, it encourages parents to be more mindful and communicative in their daily interactions with their babies.
